Hide your kids and hide your pets because the goatman is looming around. That’s right: we’re talking about the half-man, half-goat creature that roams the town looking for something to kill.
Is it real? Or maybe a mythical creature? How about an experiment gone wrong? It’s a beast that isn’t entirely beast and a man that isn’t entirely man – but is most definitely dangerous.
Do you know the goatman? Perhaps, if you meet him, it’ll be too late for you to do something. Unless you know what you’re up against.
Who is The Goatman?
The name gives you a little insight into what we’re talking about. A hybrid of sorts, who walks on the legs of a goat and stands tall as a man.
A creature who doesn’t belong in the world of man, nor it belongs out in nature. Something that, unfortunately, brings the violence of the wild into civilization.
Or, simply put, it’s a weird-looking thing that likes to trash humans.
There are multiple goatmen around America, and not one of them is civilized. They all live under bridges or beyond the city limits – and they surface only to attack people.
But you can’t talk about the goatman unless you choose which one you’re talking about.
What does The Goatman look like?
The goat-man is a half-man, half-goat hybrid; that means (approximately) 50% man and 50% goat. How exactly are those proportions distributed?
Well, it’s not what you’re thinking: it’s not a creature with the legs of a man and the head of a goat. Or the head of a man and the horns of a goat.
That’s a good guess – but far from accurate.
Science shows us the goatman is half goat from the waist down and half man from the waist up.
Certain groups, such as the goat-headers, claim the goatman has a goat head – but little to no scientific evidence supports this claim. The top researchers around the world make it clear: if you want to know whether you’re facing a goatman, check his legs – not his goatee.
Is there more than one goatman?
Believe it or not, there’s more than one goatman – in fact, there are several goatmen; you could call it a guild of goatmen.
Several mythical-looking creatures live throughout America, and they often follow the same pattern: erratic behavior; predatory diet; a half-man, half-goat hybrid figure.
We know of different sightings that share similarities – but we don’t know where one goatman story starts and another one ends.
The Maryland Goatman
Throughout the 1970s, several Maryland residents found dead dogs around their neighborhoods. People became frightened and different versions explaining the event came and went.
Boring, rational people quickly blamed the entire thing on the railroad tracks, where dogs unlucky enough tried to cross and were hit by a train.
Other residents (and many of them were claimed to be eyewitnesses of the event) blamed it on the goatman.
As the rumors of such a creature grew stronger, Maryland residents found the words “The Goatman was here” written on their building walls; a literate goatman is to be feared.
The genesis of the Maryland goatman could have a Stan-Lee-twist of sorts.
Several residents have told the story of a scientist who worked in the Agricultural Research Center of Maryland who, in comic book fashion, became the goatman after a failed experiment with a goat. It’s like Spiderman but less cool.
The Pope Lick Monster
Our second goatman might not know how to read or write, but he has a known address: the railroad bridge in Pope Lick Creek.
Now, you might be thinking how come the Maryland Goatman knows how to read and write, and this one doesn’t? Well, the answer is simple: this one knows magic, so he doesn’t need to write.
That’s right: many witnesses claim to have seen this goatman use hypnosis and voice mimicry to lure his victims. When he has them within reach, he grabs them and throws them under a train – apparently, that’s how a half-man half-goat has fun (because he doesn’t have a TV).
How such a wretched creature came to be? There are many stories, but two of them are the most interesting:
- The first version claims the goatman was a circus freak who vowed to get revenge on humans who are not half-man and half-goat but instead are half-man and half-man.
- The second version talks about a farmer who sacrificed goats in exchange for satanic powers. He died and came back half a goat. I’m not sure how that qualifies as a satanic power, but I digress.
The Waterford Sheepman
The third and final goatman is the most dangerous of them all. A half-man, half-goat creature featuring sharp claws, scales, and fur – something that can only be described as clumsy design.
The Waterford Sheepman (Waterford residents call him a sheepman, but he’s most definitely goatman) doesn’t hide in bridges or around the neighborhood – he attacks head-on.
Waterford residents have claimed time and time again a half-man half-goat creature roams around their town, jumping on top of cars and assaulting people. When he can’t reach cars or people, he throws rocks, tires, and everything he can grab at them.
Even though we don’t know the mythical genesis of the sheepman, we might have a little clue on what happened throughout the 60s (when Sheepman activity was at its peak).
Back in 2005, a man sent an anonymous letter to a reporter; in that letter, he explained he and his friends were bored and decided to scare people wearing goatman costumes.
A terrible ending, “it’s just a prank, bro” strikes again.
Faun, Fairy, or Reality?
As we now know, one of three goatmen is certainly fake. The Waterford Sheepman is nothing but a disgrace to the guild of goatmen – but that leaves two half-man half-goat creatures left.
Whether these two wild hybrids are real or not, it’s hard to tell. While the Pope Lick Monster seems far-fetched (because of the mystic powers), people have died after mysteriously falling under a train where this goatman supposedly lives.
The Maryland Goatman was a big thing throughout the 1970s – but quickly came and went as people from the town moved on to other things. Perhaps, he died; maybe he never existed.
As a final note, we want to clarify Kanye West isn’t a goatman. He’s simply the GOAT, man. That’s a subject for another day, though.